Disturbing discovery

I was analysing the visitors’ trend to my blog just today and made a ‘disturbing’ discovery. Good news is recent trend shows that my blog had attracted visitors from around the world. Bad news is the blog had attracted the wrong crowd.

Remember my entry regarding this? Apparently this post ranked third as entry page. (The first and second ranking goes to the main entry page)

My analysis shows that the very reason these visitors stumbled upon my blog to that entry was due to search words like ‘naked massage’ used in search engines (i.e. google, yahoo) In fact, the post had attracted unexpected visitors around the world because they were enquiring for naughty stuff!

Here is a list of recent visits and the search words used - just for laugh.

Date	Country	Search Word
11-Jun-08	US	naked body massage
11-Jun-08	M'sia	naked body massage in penang
11-Jun-08	US	naked massages
11-Jun-08	UK	naked massage munich
10-Jun-08	M'sia	naked massage in kl
9-Jun-08	France	body body massage stockholm
9-Jun-08	India	best naked massage in world
8-Jun-08	Italy	munich "body massage"
28-May-08	US	naked massage

While someone in France wants a “body body massage” (I have no idea what it meant), the person in India only wants the “best naked massage in world” (I believe he will settle no less).

Interesting discovery, yet very disturbing.

‘Have you been in touch with your high school friends?’

I have to apologies that I have not being able to update as regularly as what I've expected when I've started this blog. Nothing to do with my bad back though my movement is now less restraint. Actually, it was more to do with lack of inspiration or stories to share with you readers. You can say, I was having writer's block.

Nevertheless, here's this week's entry.

‘Have you been in touch with your high school friends?’ one of my friends asked me recently.

A fair question with an easy answer. No. I haven’t been in touch with most of them. Maybe a few of them occasionally on some big events. But I have not been religiously meeting-up or catching up with most of them since I’ve been to college. The thing is, when people progress along, they lead a different direction in life. And along some direction, you may not be able to cross-path with you high school friends. Sad but true.

These are the friends that I’ve been growing up with at least the first 11 years of my life. These are the friends when I’ve been playing badminton with after obtaining inspiration from the Malaysia’s Thomas Cup team who took the cup back home. These are the friends who crack jokes and play pranks on other people when I’m still young.

I remember a few of us once made some comments about meeting up 10 years later. 10 years has passed and only a few of us made that promised. Well, I have not been keeping up with that promise myself but then again, I am nevertheless living thousand of miles away from Malaysia.

Whilst there are people I ought to catch-up with for old time sake, there are some that came across my mind which I don’t want to see them again. Not that I am having a serious grudge against them but I did had some bad memories with these bullies. These are the people, whom in my opinion use excessive brute force to get their way. I happened to be along their path and that’s why, my ‘never want to see them again’ stance. Maybe I might change my mind when I get older and ended up like my dad having party with his old friends religiously almost every fortnightly or monthly. I guess that’s what we do when we grow old; reminiscence the old days.

Well, I might not go along the path of partying with my friends fortnightly. But might as well start off by getting in touch via Facebook. Better start writing a list of people to poke today.

When is it a good deal?

Getting married is ‘once in a life time’, a phrase often used, if not overly abused by opportunistic business man who wants to sell you some form of wedding services. When Kay and I were planning for our wedding, we had a fair share of meeting such opportunistic business people, in the form of a bridal houses.

Bridal houses basically offers a packaged service which includes, bridal gowns, groom's suit/ tuxedo, professional photographer, make-up, photography, costumes (i.e. Korean costumes, Japanese kimono, sailor, paramilitary etc, gigantic photo frame, and whatever wild/wet dream and fantasy you and your spouse want, they will deliver it to you for a price.

There is never short of supply of bridal houses in Kuala Lumpur. Most of them are concentrated at Jalan Loke Yew and has extended their presence in SS2 in Petaling Jaya.

We did not engage the service of a bridal house but some of my married friends and family had they have paid between RM7,000 to RM10,000 for the combined services.

I am not sure why it would be so expensive because during one of my bridal fair tour, I noticed that the package prices starts from RM2,888 and I don’t see why my family and friends end up paying more than RM7,000. In any case, when we were preparing for our wedding, Kay and I dropped by at a few of this bridal houses to explore the possible opportunity to contract their services and to get a good deal. When we walked into Bridal Shop A, a heavy but bubbly man came bouncing out to the front door to receive us.

This is an excerpt of our conversation:

Bubbly man: Welcome to Bridal Shop Ah! Looks like we got a to-be married couple here. Before we go on, when is the eventful date? Where is it?

Kay: We are having it on xx day xx month xx year at Hotel X.

Bubbly man: Ohhhh. We have some slots from now to the event and I must say it is a lovely and grand hotel you have booked.

(Note: I have only come to realise towards the end of the conversation that Mr. Bubbly wants to know if we are having it at a hotel or a restaurant. A hotel and if it's a five-star hotel would indicate our wealth/ budget)

Bob: What sort of package do you have for us? We wanted something simp...

Bubbly man: Ohhh... we have a few packages.

Bubbly took out a blank piece of paper and started scribbling. This is real nice. A big established bridal house with no definite price list. Then he showed me the scribbled price list:

1) Package A cost RM1,988;

2) Package B RM2,888; and

3) Package C RM3,888.

The difference with each package is the number of photos we could put into the album, the quality of the bridal gown (package A bridal gown is for VIP, while package B is for VVIP and Package C is for VVVIP), the size of the photo frame, album quality etc.

And I thought, if I wanted it simple, I could take mid-range say Package B at RM2,800. How the hell did my friends manage to make it to RM10,000? Then it came clear to me.

Bubbly man: In Package B, we will take a minimum of 80 photo shots of both of you and we will take 20 of your best shots for the album. We will give you two albums which has identical shots. One for you and one for your wife's mum since you are taking her away...ha ha ha.

20 shots don’t sound too bad. I can make it simple. But Kay saw the problem almost immediately.

Kay: I don't think 20 photos is enough. If you take 80 shots and we could only choose 25% of the entire selection. What if some shots looks good on my husband but not me and vice-versa? Then we may end up choosing more photos than the provided 20.

Bubbly man: Don't worry, after the shot if you think you need more we will print more but you may have to pay extra because it is not in the package.

Bob: How much?

Bubbly man: RM60 for a photo.

What the f@*k? It doesn't cost much to print a photo? If I were to choose 10 extra photo it would cost me an extra RM600!

Kay: Are you going to give us the negative for the original 80 since you are not going to put all the photos in the album?

Bubbly man: So sorry. We can't. It is not in the package.

Kay: Ok fine (a little frustrated). By the way, can I see your gown?

Bubbly man was more than happy to bring us around the collection of gown. He showed us VVIP gown. We touched the material. Feels like it has been recycle from newspaper. Then he showed us the VVVIP version and Super VIP version (locked in a room with high level of security). The quality of these gowns was far better than the choice of our package.

Kay: If I wanted to maintain package B but take this Super VIP gown instead of what was in the package, how much would I have to pay?

Bubbly man: Ohh...you need to add an additional of RM1,000 just for that. But it is very nice indeed. I think you should try it on now just to have a feel.

Then it came clear to me how my friends and family paid RM7,000 to RM10,000 for pre-wedding photo shots. These bridal houses are engaging in physiological warfare. First, tempt you with the low cost package. Once you have signed in and taken your photos, extra cost kicks in. Even small things like the photo album cover. They could provide you something ugly and if you want something better quality...just topped-up your money. Why not since it's a once in a lifetime, (the so famously abused phrase), might as well go for the best and part your money foolishly.

Anyway, we walked out since we are not comfortable with such business tactics. At first we thought that only Bridal House A employs such tactic. Then when visit Bridal House B, C, D and all the way to Z, it's all the same tactic.

So the next time you pick up a good deal from a bridal house, think twice! You might end up paying more than you’ve envisage.

A celebration to yearn for

Some had asked us, how was our Chinese New Year celebration in UK. To be honest about it, there is nothing to shout about. There was no loud CNY music from Astro’s Wah Lai Toi which continuously reminds you about the celebration. Nor was there any ‘yee sang’ available for people to toss their food up just as a sign of better luck and prosperity.

To simply describe it, it was a subtle CNY celebration. On the eve of CNY, Kay and I had a simple meal while watching the friendly football match between England and Switzerland (with England wining the game with 2:1) on the TV. Nothing fantastic, but least it’s a mini reunion dinner for both of us. On the first day of CNY, we started our morning with phone calls back home to our families and after that, I was back to work in the office. So, if you are complaining about not wanting to go back to work/ school after your holidays, please do stop because you could have been in a far worst position that you are.

A colleague of mine recently asked how we celebrate CNY in Malaysia. I was lost of words for a minute and thought hard about it. In fact, the lack of atmosphere for two consecutive years in UK had almost made me forgot how a CNY celebration was like in the first place. I struggled at first but I managed to put up the following description:-

Chinese New Year is best described as a celebration where people (family and friends) gather and eat together for the next 15 days until ‘Chap Goh Meh’ (the last day of Chinese New Year). That’s right! It’s all about eating. Of course, during the in-between meal time when everyone is digesting from the heavy consumption of food, the singles and children would make their rounds amongst the married couple to wish them ‘Happy Chinese New Year’ so that in return they would be given a ‘ang pow’, a red packet with money inside as a sign of good luck and prosperity to the receiving end. Personally, people care more of the monetary value rather than believe of luck these days.

As most of the Chinese people has the knack of business sense, they will attempt to increase the monetary value of their ‘ang pow’ by engaging in ‘high risk’ investing (i.e gambling). Same goes to those who had extended ‘ang pow’ who wished to recouped the monies given out due to their traditional responsibilities.

The atmosphere is always noisy. There is always this continuous irritating song played on the TV about ‘God of Wealth’ is coming to town (similar to Santa Clause is coming to town song but the Chinese version). Kids visiting your home sometimes leave a trail of noise and destruction just to join in the festive mood. Even the grown ups would not leave you alone as they bombard you with tones of questions such as “When are you getting married” (for the singles) or “When are you going to have a child” (for the newly wed).

And that is what CNY celebration is all about, from my perspective.

After putting through a summarised version of CNY to my colleague, I realised that I am more than willing to forgo the savings I had made from not giving out ‘ang pow’ (and that is shit load lot of money), just to be with my families and friends. I guess it’s only after I experienced the subtle celebration that I really appreciate CNY rather than assuming that it was just another public holiday. Let’s hope next year we could be back home to celebrate CNY with everyone.

Gong Xi Fa Chai everyone. Best wishes to all of you.

When is RM1 million enough?

“It’s going to be another 2 weeks before the next salary comes in. Wouldn’t it be great if I’ve got RM1 million to start of with?” Brenda started.

Money matters came into topic during one of my lunch conversation with my ex-colleague Brenda (not her real name) during my days in KL. Our salary had increased since we first started working but still, it’s not enough to sustain our life style (boozing, partying, buy expensive toys, strip club etc). We always wish for more money but never realised that it was not the lack of money that is the problem. It’s our attitude towards money – that’s the problem.

Hypothetically, if I give any of you RM1 million now, what are you going to do about it? How are you going to spend it?


My imaginary friend Smeagol would most likely spend on some useless ring…

Someone told me that they are going to get the latest car model if they got the money. Others aspire to build a bigger house (so that he can organise as swinger party). But after you have spend that RM1 million, most likely you would whine about if you’ve got an additional RM10 million to spend with. And the problem would probably never end.

People read ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’ (by Robert Kiyosaki) and generally misunderstood that jumping onto the property wagon or start their own business is the best way to make money. But they fail to realise that the essence of managing your money. I’ve got representatives from direct selling establishment taking ideas from ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’ and talked about work on your own and start a business. Unfortunately, they fail to tell people that the new joiners would be ‘working for’ and feeding the people on the top – so much for work for yourselves. They encouraged people to spend money so that they could motivate or signal to potential new joiners how wealthy they are. At the end of the day, some people left the establishment as they were not able to achieve of what they were told of.

The essence of the ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’ material goes to as simple as saving your money and utilising it for the best possible return, in the case of Robert Kiyosaki – property investment. With the property value in US declining, I wonder how is Mr Kiyosaki doing right now?

I would like to add; to manage your money, it all boils down to your attitude towards money. If you start spending on something which has no investment value, you would most likely end up poorer before you were given your RM1 million, so much so because you get too comfortable with spending money.

So, it’s not the issue of having RM1 million or RM10 million. It is the issue of how do you spend your money – even as little as RM100 starting now. It is more like prioritising your expenditure and spend on what is needed and invest in something which gives you a suitable return.

I am not saying I am rich nor am I signalling that I have done a good job in managing money. In fact, I had my fair share of spending money unnecessarily during my early working days. Now, I am still working on changing my spending ways because it’s easy to take up a bad habit and it takes a long time to get rid of it.


My fair share of worthless pursuits… toy soldiers

“So after all the ranting about managing money, what should I do with my savings now?" some of you may ask.

Good question – I have so far figure out ‘how not to spend money’. But I have not mastered the principal of ‘how to make money’. Maybe we can discuss this another time.

Note: Apologies to Brenda. The conversation where Brenda was moaning about being broke did not take place.As such, I have amended it accordingly in order to be factually accurate. However, I do note that the conversation regarding having RM1 million did took place.

Sorry Brenda....and hope you like the pen name.

Almost 3 decades...

I walked into the office today and received a few birthday wishes from some of my friends. Thanks guys for still remembering me even though I have not seen some of you since I left to London.

However when I sit down and started thinking, I realised I was drawing nearer to the third decade of my life. And there is struck me. I have lived through more than a quarter of century and now I am wondering what have I been doing with my life all these while?

I guess it would make sense if I started off listing the memorable stuff I have done for the last one year. And the list goes:

1. Left my comfort zone and went over to London for a better career path. Along the way, I have joined the ranks as a ‘Pendatang’ (of course with a legal work permit);

2. Began a two-person life without the luxury of parent’s help to pick up the trash;

3. Travel to five different countries within a year. Something which I can’t even achieved in the last five years;

4. Meet new friends;

5. Learned how to construct a photo montage – a new hobby for Kay and myself;

6. Watched 2 West End theatre plays;

7. Had a ‘Quick Fuck’ with a good friend of mine. It’s the drink…the alcoholic drink! Stop having kinky thoughts.

8. Pilot a helicopter… actually it was Flying Bob, the remote control helicopter.

9. Started a blog;

10. Went to a strip club and was surrounded by ten ‘curvy’ girls. I had one hell of a night! Okay, that didn’t happen. I made it up, just so to make sure you are not sleeping as the list goes down.

Looking back, its not something to shout about. In fact, it sounded a little bit pathetic to me. Nevertheless, there is always another year for me to make things right. So, for this coming year, I am determined to start of doing stuff which I have been meant to do for a long time (i.e. losing weight etc).

And I will start right away, the next day.

Before that, might as well indulge in the surprise dinner that Kay prepared for me, which I will discuss in my future entries.

Happy New Year

Kay and I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year and welcome year 2008.

I've finally moved my ass...

"Have you got nothing else better to do?" Kay asked. A mere reaction when I suggested I am going to start a blog of my own. "Bloggers likes the whole world know what they do. That is so sad! People who want to know what bloggers do are sad as well" she added.

A year ago, we've decided to get married and make a bold move from our little shack in Kuala Lumpur to London marking the next chapter of our life together. And I thought since it’s the next chapter of our life, might as well document it. Least we could share our experience and thoughts (actually, its more of what diabolical thought I wish to extend rather than Kay's) with our family and friends which we have parted almost a year ago. After a number of discussions and negotiations with Kay, she conceded to starting a blog on the condition that we remain anonymous to the public (it's ok for family and friends) and not to publish our photos. With compromise reached, this is where 'I finally moved my ass... to a world of blogging’!